That my uncle - my father's third older brother chained my cousin - my father's sister's youngest son James Ng's legs to the window just because he went to Normal Academic and forced him to study?
Do you know that when I was 15, I was the butt of his bully, as it was normal to fail at that time, he said "Normal to fail?!". In Sec 3, most of the students in the class failed most of their subjects. But in the end during O Levels, they get A1s for them. Seeing that I "didn't do well" for my studies, he stepped into my life, with my failing subjects as justification, he reigned control.
And then forced me to sit at the round table, I'm sitting, but in my heart, I'm still standing. And when I was so subdued, I was defiant. Then he threatened to cut my hair. He said: "If you don't listen, I use this scissors to CUT your ponytail ah?!". Threatened.
Undermining. And abusive.
He was actually holding a pair of scissors.
He can be THAT terrifying.
He was holding the scissors close to my hair, behind at my tail. I was forced to listen to him.
2. And then, he went to my room, saw my R L Stine books and Fear Street books, and took all and sold it away. When he was there, he said to my cousin Joshua Tan Wei Rong, "all these books ah, we take and sell it away ah."
I had a collection of R L Stine and it was all taken away from me and never to be returned. My heart wrenched and my mind broke. These books shape who I am, these books are close to my heart. I love R L Stine alot. And to lose all these books was a Huge loss to me. I felt that a huge part of me was missing.
I lived with big holes in my heart and in my mind.
15 was the year also that my classmates started to call me weird. Apparently for some hacking of my online profile and what happened online. Which I had absolutely NO IDEA what was that about. But I strongly attribute it to my uncle.
He had forced me to give him my Friendster password. At that time, I frequent my cousin Joshua Tan's house often and use his comp often.
And when I was there, my third uncle also came. I was logging in to Friendster at that time. He came with his wife, and at the scene, my cousin Joshua was there, with cousin Jonathan (his older brother), and my grandma.
The whole atmosphere was pressurising. With so many people in the room.
And then we had a talk. Talking about how bad my studies was and that if I want to go out of the room or I could have my privileges, I would have to give them my Friendster and Email password.
I didn't want to at first. But they said firmly they want me to give them that they can check and log in if not "you will not get to use the comp". Furthermore, my uncle said in a forceful tone: "don't give us a fake password ahhh, we will CHECK."
I have done nothing bad greatly online on Friendster at that time, nor have I been up to any mischief at that period of time. But because of the new advent of social media at that point of time and my normal failing secondary 3 results, my password was forced out of me.
They even joked about my password - "jam jam jam! What kind of password is that!"
Until 2008, I couldn't use my email account since 2005 because they have logged in and changed my password.
It was only after much much later I manage to twist into my account and am using it till now. Which explains why I had been using another email g e m m i n d o w n i n instead of the original g e m m i n d o w n which I hated the longer one but I had no choice.
That sparked off my desire and drive to create multiple accounts so my life doesn't depend on one if that is compromised.
It was also mentioned by my cousin Joshua to my uncle that "Even if you check her account, she can and will always create another one what". Turning to me and said "you will always create another one what"
It made me lose all contacts and control over my account which I had for the past few years when I was young. It made me lose touch with reality and with friends.
15 years old was the time he was controlling me and I hated it so much I decided to act stupid to him. I talked in a high pitch baby tone to hopefully get him OFF me. It happened for a while till he really got fed up and in his last burst of fire, drove me to IMH.
Thankfully the IMH doctor was smart enough to know I wasn't suffering from any mental illness.
And even if I wasn't, years later after living with my mad dad and years of suppression from my uncle, I would surely become M.A.D.
While I was in the car, I didn't know where he was heading to. But when he hit the road of Buangkok, my cousin Joshua who was asked to come with us, sitting at the front seat of the car exclaimed "wa! Seriously ah!"
And that marked my first visit to that siao lang keng.
I was pretty impressed though, by the modern features and the welcoming lobby.
But as I mentioned, years later, stepping into the C Class wards was a totally different thing.
My persistent and controlling uncle simply RUINED MY LIFE.
Not only mine, but many others as well. There was a time he kept calling my house phone incessantly, everyday, to talk to me.
As the house phone wasn't cordless at that time, I had to STAND for HOURS at length to talk to him on the phone. Most of which was long lectures. He kept asking me "Do you agree not?", "Right?" And I was seriously tired of all these bullshit and I just couldn't care less saying "Ya." All the way and that's when I learnt to say "Yes" instead because he said: "Don't keep saying Ya! Ya! Say YES!", "What is 'Ya'! Ya! Ya! Ya!"
My ears almost burst at that time and I was eager to put down the phone but trying hard not to make him angry or step on his toes lest I get another 'treatment' of his.
Honestly speaking, all of the "patients" of mental hospitals are Normal. It is of the 'treatment' they receive.
I had to stuck my body to the wall and shift the phone as far as I can manage it because I was itching to sit down or to do other more important stuffs.
And he doesn't say bye. He would drone on and on and on and on and on and on and on and when he is satisfied, he would say Ok. And I THANK GOD that FINALLY I can put down the Goddamn phone.
So there was once Jehovah Witnesses came and out of kindness my mum and I invited them into the house. Two of them. Because my mum was emphatising that it was tiring and is was hot outside.
So my uncle rang my goddamn phone and asked me what I'm doing. And when he heard voices at the background, he asked who's that and as a good little girl trying to suck up to him and suck up to him so he would give me benefits, and without knowing the consequences I told him it was Jehovah Witnesses in my house.
At that point of time I didn't know Jehovah Witnesses were illegal in Singapore. But what my uncle did later was too much. So what if it's against the law? We need to approach them with love too.
So, he put down the phone and said: "I'll be right there now"
And when he came, with my cousin Joshua, the Jehovah Witnesses suddenly become very scared because my uncle threatened to call the police. And two of them ran away. My uncle and cousin chased them under the block to the bus stop outside, to the streets and they were frantic. They ran for their dear lives and allegedly hopped into a taxi. And my uncle and cousin returned panting.
I believe in the best in people. So what if they are wrong? Do you kill them with the law? Is that really what Jesus would do?!
So that's the extent he can go.
FML.
I'm gonna be a lesbian.
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